Following Where He Leads
I can vividly remember sitting in the conference room at Hume Lake Christian Camp in the Sierra Nevadas as a room full of teenagers listened to the closing talk for the week. We were challenged to stand up and say, “Here am I, Lord. Send me.” Easy words to say, but I was scared. Could I say them and really mean them? Would God send me to Africa or some other faraway land that would require I give up being comfortable and close to my friends and family? I’m embarrassed to say that as I stood that night my heart whispered, “Here am I, Lord. I’m available as long as You don’t send me anywhere I don’t want to go.”
Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” (Matthew 16:24). I am learning that for me, this often requires letting go of all the ‘what-ifs’ and ‘if-onlys’ I sometimes secretly hide in my heart as I pray. It’s letting go of all the giant hopes and ideas of what God’s answers to my prayers should look like. It’s sitting completely open-handed before Him, trusting Him to enable me to handle wherever He sends me.
However, lately, I am learning that although God sometimes asks us to go, sometimes He asks us to stay. Despite our deepest heartfelt prayers for God to change our difficult circumstances, He requires us to stay right in the middle of them. Is it too much to handle? You bet! Do we feel crushed under the weight of pain and disappointment? Absolutely! But God doesn’t promise a life of comfort and happily-ever-afters. He calls us to a life of faith that courageously believes He will be enough no matter what we face. Most things are too difficult for us to bear on our own. He wants us to cling to Him for strength and hope. He asks us to step out in obedience, believing He will give us the courage not only for the first step but for each step along the way.
So here I am, some forty years later, not scared to pray “Send Me,” but afraid He will tell me to stay right smack dab in the middle of circumstances I desperately want to have changed.”Here am I, Lord. I am trusting You to lead me where You want me to go, or to keep me where You want me to stay. Wherever You have me, I will seek to live with passion and devotion. And when I become weary, worn-down, or worried, I will trust You to be my more than enough.”
“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’” 2 Corinthians 12:9.
